Final article

 

Aiden & Ashley uncover their path towards self-love and self-acceptance. Openly discussing their hardships, realizations, and overall journeys with self.

 

   Self-love and self-acceptance look completely and utterly different to each and every person you encounter. "We all struggle with accepting or loving some part of ourselves", Ashley says. For Ashley, it was always the inability of accepting and embracing the physical vessel she had been brought into this world with. "I always hated social media and the Ideas it enabled into my mind as a 10-year-old." The unrealistic ways in which media portrays women tremendously affected the way Ashley started perceiving herself. She thought that in order to fit society's definition of "pretty", she must have had to carry each trait she noticed the women on TV had, a tiny waist, hairless bodies, no stretch marks, or pimples, and so on. Because Ashley fed into this preconceived idea of how a "truly beautiful" woman should look, she developed a sense of inferiority. "I felt unworthy and disgusting in my own skin because I didn't fit the description I constantly saw." As she got older, her insecurities progressively increased. She compared herself to other girls and at times cried herself to sleep because she was so unhappy with her physical self. "If I'm being honest, I think the worst part about it was just how obsessive I got over yearning to look like someone else." She wasn't this petite girl. She had thick thighs and a tummy, but she couldn't stand another second of looking the way she did. She developed an unhealthy relationship with food, which led to an unstable diet and weight. "One afternoon, I was about to get into the shower and the mirror called my attention. I was just standing there and in an instant, I started sobbing. I was criticizing each and every part of myself so harshly and a part of me knew that I couldn't continue treating myself so awfully." Ashley explains that this was indeed her turning point. She wanted to begin treating herself with the same kindness and tenderness she would provide to someone she loved dearly. She chose to remind herself every day that there is no one representation of how one should look. "In order to completely accept yourself, you have to deconstruct a lot of the ideas you’ve upheld. For years, you have fed into societies standards and expectations of how an individual should carry themselves. You learn from your observations that certain aspects of yourselves are flawed and in order to “fix” this, you must cover it up, hide it, and even criticize it. However, this is indeed another social construct.  Flaws are completely and utterly subjective. This thing you have been deprecating for so long is just another part of you and it’s beautiful. "

    However, Aiden's story was quite divergent. Aiden is a heterosexual trans male who struggled trying to embody who he truly was. "I think accepting it is the hardest part. It took a few years to identify the feeling I've felt for so long. I’ve always known my body didn't feel like my own, but I didn't know what that meant until I started looking into things. At first, I'd wonder what people would say or think, only to realize that being my true authentic self didn't require anyone's validation." Aiden came out twice to his family. He came out as a lesbian when he was in fifth grade by writing it on a piece of paper and leaving it on his moms’ pillow because he was too scared to actually tell her. In a historical sense, being a part of the LGBTQ+ community was not often socially accepted. In fact, according to CNN10, homosexuality was listed as a sociopathic personality disturbance in the American Psychiatric Association’s diagnostic manual in April 1952. Thus, creating years of stigma. "My mom's a Christian and society doesn't exactly welcome the LGBTQ+ community with open arms." On the contrary to Aiden's expectation, his mom didn't respond in a devastating or disapproving manner. Although she did tell him it was a phase, she came around. Years later, he came out again on their car ride home. "I asked my mom how she felt about the trans community to ease into the conversation since I was nervous and then told her. It took a while for everyone to adjust as both my name and pronouns changed. Overall, my experiences have been positive and I'm more than grateful to have been blessed with such accepting people in my life." Aiden encourages individuals to practice being prideful in who they are, even if the people around them give them many reasons as to why they shouldn't be. The path to self-acceptance filled with love, comfort, and respect is no easy road. It is a never-ending journey that encompasses facing years of pain. Remember, everyone's journey is different & valid.