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Falling In love with you

  It is no surprise that people have begun to idealize unrealistic beauty standards. Slowly wanting to conform into what majority deem as perfect. With social media becoming increasingly popular, most of what we see is altered in some way. We are in fact spreading the very ideas that make us miserable in our own bodies. Dissatisfaction in self does not solely depend on our physical being. This unfulfillment can be directed towards our mind, our body, or our soul. You may feel as though your thoughts or ideas are of unimportance; useless. You see your body as unattractive, “not good enough”, repugnant. You see your soul or the energy you radiate as dreadful. What people fail to recognize, is that these very things are interconnected. See your internal reality is projected through your external reality. For instance, if you constantly tell yourself you are unworthy of love or happiness, you will surely attract people who reflect your feelings through negative treatment. The journey to self-love can be long and difficult, but you must treat yourself with the same kindness and tenderness you would provide to someone you love dearly. Rule number one; remind yourself every day, there is no one representation of how one should look, think, or act. Normalize our differences. Be patient with yourself and understand that you are a universe inside a vessel. This first step is all about acceptance. In order to completely accept yourself, you have to deconstruct a lot of the ideas you’ve upheld. For years, we have fed into societies standards and expectations of how an individual should carry themselves. We learn from our observations that certain aspects of ourselves are flawed and in order to “fix” this, we must cover it up, hide it, and even criticize it. However, this is indeed another social construct.  Flaws are completely and utterly subjective. This thing you have been deprecating for so long is just another part of you and it’s beautiful.

    The next step in your journey consists of comfort and respect. Once you can welcome and approve of everything that is you, you can begin to embody your authentic persona entirely. How can you reach this comfort and respect towards self?  You can start by releasing anything and everything that does not resonate with you. If you feel unhappy with the way you present yourself, try stepping out of your comfort zone and exploring new options or paths. The goal is to reach authenticity. Many times, individuals will create a different persona outside of themselves to please the people around them. However, there is a lack of security and fulfillment in doing so. Staying true to your core brings a sense of centeredness and groundedness. Respect who you are enough to embrace it. Be the person you feel you are meant to be, and do it boldly, as well as unapologetically. Rule number two; do not run from who you are, the only way out is through. Working on your internal self will be the key to your self-love journey. Don’t give up, you got this!

 

  LGBTQ+ PRIDE

       The LGBTQ+ community has endured far more than what is commonly known. If we take a look back in time, we will transparently see the hardships and discrimination that have been faced for decades. According to CNN10, homosexuality was listed as a sociopathic personality disturbance in the American Psychiatric Association’s diagnostic manual in April 1952. However, in 1973, homosexuality was removed from the mental disorders listed. And yet the stereotypes and inhumane treatment towards LGBTQ+ individuals still continue today. For instance, 38% of the LGBTQ+ population live in states where there are no laws against conversion therapy for minors. Those who believe in conversion therapy claim that certain practices or activities will change a person’s sexuality or gender identity. More specifically, conversion therapy is a cycle of physical and mental abuse. The high rejection of LGBTQ+ young people has resulted in increased levels of attempted suicide, depression, use of illegal drugs, and homelessness.

        The stigma held around LGBTQ+ people has completely destroyed relationships with family, and with self-image. Today, teenagers are scared to openly discuss their sexuality or gender identity with family or friends because there’s a high possibility they wouldn’t be accepted for who they are. “My experience wasn't so much "coming out", it was more of my mother finding out. I was in 7th grade when she found out that I was gay. I was texting my girlfriend at the time late at night and during this time, my mom would check up on me to make sure I was sleeping especially on school nights. She walked into my room and got upset at me for being on my phone so late, so she asked for my phone and my password to see what I was doing. The next morning her eyes were puffy, her face was red, and the sadness in her eyes was extremely noticeable. She questioned if I had anything I wanted to tell her, but I continued dismissing this question because I was well aware it wouldn't bring either of us satisfaction. For about a month she stopped talking to me or looking at me the way she used to and for a while, I felt extremely neglected and unloved. She began drinking more than usual. Luckily, I had an accepting aunt who introduced her to new perspectives. After about a year, she finally accepted it and I can genuinely say there's a significant difference in the ways in which she responds or reacts towards my sexuality as well as my significant others.” Ashley explains that something as personal as sexuality took a toll on the relationship she had with her mother as well as with herself. She began blaming herself and feeling like she was a burden to the people around her. On the contrary, Aiden’s mother was extremely open-minded with him, which allowed him to feel safe and secure with what he had to say. “I've actually come out to my family twice. I first came out as a lesbian when I was in 5th grade. I wrote it on a piece of paper and left it on my moms' pillow because I was too scared to actually tell her. My parents strongly believed it was just a phase and it definitely took some time for them to accept it because of religious and cultural reasons but they came around. I came out again my sophomore year during our car ride home. I asked my mom how she felt about the trans community to ease into the conversation since I was nervous and then told her. It took a while for everyone to adjust as both my name and pronouns changed. Overall, my experiences have been positive and I'm more than grateful to have been blessed with such accepting people in my life.” Behind both of these personal experiences, are fear. Fear of judgment, fear of loss, and fear of being rejected. We should be teaching everyone around us that sexuality and gender are spectrums that are completely okay and valid! After all, our goal should be wanting to see the people we love thrive in happiness.

    Although The LGBTQ+ community is still facing discrimination today, I think it’s important to continue standing tall. As an LGBTQ+ member, I think it’s crucial that we show everyone around us that we will not conform. We are not put on this earth to repress our emotions and our persona to comfort the people around us.  “I strongly believe that you should practice being prideful in who you are even if the people around you give you many reasons as to why you shouldn't be. Be selfish, put your desires and happiness first. Remember that it's okay to not know. The only constant is change. So, if your journey changes along the way, know that it is okay. You are under no obligation to have everything figured out. Carry out the things you want in your life because it's YOURS and no one else's.”-Ashley